I have heard quilters complain about people they gifted quilts to, whether they didn't seem all that excited about a handmade quilt, or never sent a proper 'thank you' card in-the-mail-with-a-stamp if you please, or they did use the quilt and it got all dirty, or they didn't use the quilt and it sat on a shelf unappreciated, etc etc.
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| image from Whip-Stitch |
If I were going to pick a side I would be in the camp of use-the-quilt. I think it completes the life cycle of the quilt, from idea to creation through gifting to use, and nothing would make me happier than hearing one of my quilts was worn to pieces (by the way, all my quilts come with a lifetime patch and repair warranty). Like a car that stays in the garage and never goes for a drive, a quilt on a shelf stays nice and clean but never really lives as it was meant to.
And now we get to the Zen of Quilt giving... I have realized that I cannot control how a quilt is received, I can only control how it is given. I give my quilts freely, in love, without expectation of reciprocation or show of thankfulness. Gifts should not have conditions attached; real gifts are free. I know that some of my quilts have wound up in hallway closets or relegated to back bedrooms, does that mean the recipient wasn't worthy of their quilt or it is unappreciated? No. And what's more, I choose not to live with the pit-of-your-stomach feeling that I did something wrong or they were ungrateful. I can't control their response, and I won't let things that I can't control have control over me.
My quilts are like little love bombs that I'm setting out into the world. Wherever they go they bring handmade comfort, even when I can't be there. Like planting a seed not knowing how the flower will grow. Sometimes they literally are like love-grenades I'm lobbing over a fence to people I cannot see, cannot touch, will never know. The Covered in Love quilts are that way. I'm blindly tossing, hoping they'll land with the right person. Other quilts are more like an origami boat, set adrift gently in a pond. You point it toward its Person, give it a nudge and let it go...
What are you thoughts on quilt giving? I want to hear what you think.
I'm with you on the giving of quilts Kat and hope they are loved to pieces! Of the recently gifted baby quilts it was like music to my ears when one of the mum's said to me the quilt had already been in the washing machine a couple of times. That tells me it is loved!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts on quilt giving are very similar to yours. I have always hoped I outlive my quilts :)
ReplyDeleteI recently heard a friend say that she felt like she was wasting her talent by making donation quilts. I was quite taken aback. REALLY?!?! Wasting her talent?? I'm pleased to say that I give as often and as generously as I am able!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! Well said!
ReplyDeleteYour "little love bombs" nurture those most in need of that warm loving huggable cover. They are a blessing to all... and your block collection allows those less ambitious to contribute as well...
ReplyDeleteI love giving baby quilts but sometimes I feel as though they won't be used long enough to be meaningful. Then I snap out of it and realize that my joy in giving outweighs everything else. Baby quilts that I made my own kids are tucked away in storage for when they have their own children. They don't even remember using the quilts, but I remember making them. In one case, I was on bed rest, on medication and can even see in the differing stitches how the hand quilting lines changed with meds. Kat, I actually have been thinking about this very topic quite a bit lately. The greatest satisfaction I have overall though, is from donation quilts. That may never change. I love giving to anonymous owners and wondering about their reactions. In addition to making complete quilts to giveaway.. lucky for me...you allow a monthly thrill of making blocks.
ReplyDeleteWell said! I'm with you :)
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. I usually tell the recipient that the quilt is a hug from me anytime they need one.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. I usually tell the recipient that the quilt is a hug from me anytime they need one.
ReplyDeleteI love the picture you have here of the guy throwing flowers. Goes perfectly with your feelings on quilt giving, it seems. lol
ReplyDeleteI love making things for people. Sometimes a thought might hit like- I wonder if baby-- ever uses what took me months of hard work and hurting hands to make (crochet round blanket, matching dragon with wings and a bib, to be precise..I was just SO proud of their turn out- on my blog, too :) lol.. I try to Squash those thoughts pretty quickly, though. It's not like you can ask! So it is best to know that you made it in love and just hope that someday, you might see a picture of it on facebook. LOL
OH I soooooo agree with this philosophy!!! I make quilts to be USED. I give quilts out of love. I strive for a durable product. I strive for a beautiful product. If I fall short? It IS just a blanket. An item to warm to flesh, and hopefully the soul. I do not give quilts with conditions. I do not give quilts for "them". I give quilts for ME. I once gave a quilt to a good (non-quilts) friend. She made no hesitation in telling me it did not match her bedroom. I told her then, as I would tell anyone now, "I did not make it for your bedroom, I made it for you". It has been nearly 10 years and her and her family use it every time they camp (and they camp almost as much as they don't). It is stained, has many holes from embers and dragging and I could not be more proud! FYI...this was the first quilt I made WITH AN END PURPOSE, picking fabrics with her in mind. It very well would have blended with her bedroom theme, and, it WAS my intent it would land on her bed...but that was not her vision, and it was her gift. And I feel his way about all my quilts and do not ever "bite my tongue". It is the same as giving a monetary donation to a group or a twenty dollar bill to a kid for his birthday---you gave the gift. It is no longer yours to dictate what is done with it. How many among us would tell our neighbor how they should hang clothes on the line? Her clothes. Her line. Once it leaves your hands as a gift, it is no longer yours.
ReplyDeleteI've been lucky to have received some wonderful, loving responses to my quilty gifts early on. It gave me the courage to keep giving them, even when later a few sort of fell into a void. I had to remind myself then that my part of the gift was over: I made it out of love, gave it out of love.
ReplyDeleteI find that I think a lot about the recipient while I'm sewing, and that fills my heart with pleasure. That part is a gift to ME. Even when I make charity quilts, I think about other people I know that could be the recipient. For CiL blocks, I think about my stepdad when he was in hospice. For Project Linus, I think about my niece when she had heart surgery at age 2.
I think the love in the stitches can never be worn out or washed out. We put that love there. It is our quilt legacy. It's good to remember that; thanks for writing this post so we could all discuss it!
My friend and I were discussing this yesterday at a quilting class. She recently gave a quilt to her new baby grandchild with the instructions that she wanted the quilt to be loved, played on, picnicked on and used so much it fell to pieces and then she would make another one. This is being done and she was delighted to see the quilt on the floor being used as a playmat on her last visit.
ReplyDeleteMy grandchildren all have quilts which were originally for their beds but are also taken on holiday, used for dens in the garden and when they are poorly on the sofa.
I love to think of them using the quilts like this.
Totally agree!
ReplyDeleteDo I have your permission to insert a link to this post in my next blog post?
Even that quilt that sits on a shelf will someday be discovered and used. Maybe not in our lifetimes, but Some Day.
ReplyDelete